Category: books

READ OR DIE

I notice when Time Magazine interviews a celebrity, the interviewer often asks the question, “What book are you reading right now?” And the celebrity always has an answer.

So obviously the average celebrity is more literate than I suspected. They’re also more literate than I am—I wish I were continuously immersed in a literary masterpiece, but I’m not because I’m too occupied with other things, like surfing the net and practicing my Olympic ice skating routine.

Damn, I keep falling on my ass. It’s so hard to type and skate at the same time.

Anyway, all this guilt about the books I’m not reading has caused me to seek a solution, and here it is: I’m going to start lying about my book-reading activity. Because I want to be just like the average celebrity, only without all the drama, and divorce, and cocaine.

Now, what book should I pick? The trick is to sound smart but not pretentious, fun but not stupid, cool but not phony. And how many books fall into this category? This plan sounds like it will require some research, and that idea doesn’t grab me.

I suppose I’m theoretically reading Les Miserables, I mean since 1988 or so. I just can’t get past page 7500. Apparently the protagonist stole a loaf of bread, and an epic novel was born. I can only imagine the size of the resulting volume if the guy had swiped a Cadillac.

Another solution to this whole book-reading problem would be to actually read more books. Yeah, maybe I’ll try that instead.

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categories books | joeythesquash | datetime June 24, 2009 10:11 am | comments Comments (0)

FOOL

Christopher Moores FOOL

Christopher Moore's FOOL

I just finished reading Christopher Moore’s latest novel, Fool.

Fool is based on Shakespeare’s play King Lear. So I guess you could say Moore lifted much of the story from the Bard, although the Bard lifted much of his story from someone else. Apparently, Shakespeare stole most of his ideas. Kind of like Led Zeppelin and the Rolling Stones.

Then again, can anyone really “steal” a blues song? Because they all sound the same. Actually, there is that one song—no, no, wait, that’s right, it sounds just like all the others… Rock and roll was born because the blues got boring. Chuck Berry wanted to be a blues singer, but Chess Records thought his “uptempo” stuff might sell better. And Chuck thought he’d get more girls if he could keep them awake.

Still, the blues can be great for about 20 minutes. After that, well, you might want to put on a little Death Metal. There’s nothing like the sweet sound of the Cookie Monster singing along to the roar of a kitchen blender.

Look, I love the blues. I love the Cookie Monster guy. I have nothing but tidings of great joy for everyone, blah, blah.

By the way, Fool is a great book in the Shakespeare/ Moore tradition. This means it’s full of sex, drugs, and violence. Of course, I’m counting the various spells and poisons as “drugs”—I mean, nobody is snorting cocaine. At least not right away.

Seriously, Fool tells the story of a razor-witted court jester trying to hook up with a lover lost at the hands of a cruel king (sort of—sorry, Chris, that’s the best I could do.) It’s funny, and it’s got a lot of heart. You will laugh, even if you have no idea which friggin’ lord or nobelman or princess is related to which duke or earl or whatever. So check it out.

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categories books, music | joeythesquash | datetime June 16, 2009 11:41 am | comments Comments (0)

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