Garage Sale Day

I’m going to post pictures from Tony and Socipher’s amazing Halloween bash as soon as I get around to it. But for now, let’s talk about garage sales. Every year Highland Park has a “Garage Sale Day.” It’s a day of simultaneous garage sales. It’s a day for delusions of retail grandeur. Jill and I went to check it out, and here is what we saw.

Paper back novels – A lot of people sell them at garage sales. Here’s my question: Do people only buy idiotic schlock? Or do they only SELL the schlock and keep the good stuff in the house? Anyway, it was a great day to pick up a James Patterson novel for 25 cents. Of course, you’re cheating Jim out of his royalties—but I’m pretty sure he’ll get by.

VHS tapes – These have become “the new 8 tracks.” Does anyone remember 8 tracks? Seriously, they were before my time. But I know what they are because I used to see them at garage sales. Now I see VHS tapes.

Uh, those are nice. Do you have an old phonograph, too? I mean the kind I can crank with my hand? Because that would be about as useful.

Kids Toys – There are tons of these for sale. I like the Fischer Price barbecue grill. I wonder if it comes with little toy hamburgers. I saw someone selling “Grungy Teeth.” These are plastic teeth that I guess someone’s kid didn’t want any more. I’m sure there’s a great mom out there who wants to shove a pair of used plastic teeth into her kid’s mouth. You know, if I see someone buying those, I’m calling DYFUS.

Mugs, Dishes, Etc – The worst kind of crap. Someone finally empties grandma’s dishwasher out and decides to get rich. Good luck with that plan. And good luck selling the KISS ME I’M IRISH mug or whatever. Because I’ve never seen that one before.

Clothes – Are the clothes at garage sales any worse than what’s at the local thrift shop? Yes. A lot worse. Because it’s mostly the garbage the thrift shop won’t take.

So, will I go to the Garage Sale Day next year? Of course. I always have these dreams about an old lady selling a 1958 Gibson Les Paul for fifty bucks.

“Oooooh I don’t know if i can go that high, lady—I mean, it’s 50 years old.”

“Well, all right. How about twenty-five?”

“You’ve got yourself a deal.”

Right.

1 Comment

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  By Olivia, October 29, 2009 @ 8:46 am

  I’m laughing because our church just had its yearly clothing exchange-think giant garage sell where everything’s free-and if there had been a toy grill, I would have snatched it up-
  As it was, I couldn’t stop my three year old from making off with some sad used barbies…
  There is nothing sadder than a used barbie…

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