Interview With A Glacier
"So long, suckers!"
A new study shows that glaciers are melting far faster than scientists originally predicted. So I thought I’d interview a glacier and see what he had to say. My questions are in bold black. His responses are in frosty blue.
So, I hear you’re shrinking.
No shit, shit-head. I’m disappearing like cocaine in a crack-house.
Uh, right… There are people who think your plight is a bad sign for planet Earth.
Oh, I’m glad a few people feel that way. Too bad the rest of you are busy sticking a hot coal of pollution up my ass.
Well, there are some who really care—
Some? Some? I would think the end of your civilization would inspire a few more of you to take action. Because when you’re gone, you’re gone—I mean, when’s the last time you saw a fucking dinosaur walking around?
You’re an angry little block of ice.
Yeah, well, I used to be a lot bigger. And you’ll be angry too when your cities are underwater.
Hopefully, it won’t come to that.
Row, row, row your boat, motherfucker.
Tags: global warming, melting glaciers
social issues, stuff in the news | joeythesquash | 
August 12, 2009 6:55 am
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