Online Dating Hell III

She was blonde like a bottle of bleach, with sweet blue eyes. She was very attractive until she started talking. She started talking right away. What did she talk about? Mostly her ex-boyfriend.

They’d been engaged, and picked out the names of their kids, and purchased land in Arizona. They were going to head West and raise a little brood in the
barren desert. Until he dumped her, of course.

She didn’t like the restaurant I picked out. She stopped at the door and looked at the menu and said, “let’s go somewhere else.” She looked at lots of menus at a lot more places and finally settled on a condescending little cafe with high prices and poofy little portions.

Why did I stick around? Well, I told you she was attractive. Also, I was stupid.

She didn’t ask me anything. She didn’t even ask me about my job—as in, “what do you do all day?” Any kind of question would’ve taken away precious words she was saving for her ex-boyfriend. His name was Mike. He was an astronaut, I think, or maybe a butcher. I can’t remember because I stopped paying attention at some point.

We walked around a bit after dinner. It was her idea and it seemed planned, like “here’s the romantic part of our date where I talk about my ex-boyfriend
outside the restaurant.” But I knew the date was coming to an end. Because when a guy decides a girl is so annoying he doesn’t even want to try and have
sex with her, the date is coming to an end.

I guess she went home and dreamed about Mike. I went back online.

1 Comment

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  By Jill, July 24, 2009 @ 11:43 am

  I’m glad that date was hell. I think you found a much better girl.

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