READ OR DIE
I notice when Time Magazine interviews a celebrity, the interviewer often asks the question, “What book are you reading right now?” And the celebrity always has an answer.
So obviously the average celebrity is more literate than I suspected. They’re also more literate than I am—I wish I were continuously immersed in a literary masterpiece, but I’m not because I’m too occupied with other things, like surfing the net and practicing my Olympic ice skating routine.
Damn, I keep falling on my ass. It’s so hard to type and skate at the same time.
Anyway, all this guilt about the books I’m not reading has caused me to seek a solution, and here it is: I’m going to start lying about my book-reading activity. Because I want to be just like the average celebrity, only without all the drama, and divorce, and cocaine.
Now, what book should I pick? The trick is to sound smart but not pretentious, fun but not stupid, cool but not phony. And how many books fall into this category? This plan sounds like it will require some research, and that idea doesn’t grab me.
I suppose I’m theoretically reading Les Miserables, I mean since 1988 or so. I just can’t get past page 7500. Apparently the protagonist stole a loaf of bread, and an epic novel was born. I can only imagine the size of the resulting volume if the guy had swiped a Cadillac.
Another solution to this whole book-reading problem would be to actually read more books. Yeah, maybe I’ll try that instead.
books | joeythesquash | 
June 24, 2009 10:11 am
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