Sunset On San Diego

VACATION'S OVER... VACATION'S OVER... VACATION'S OVER...

After a week in San Diego, I’m ready to return to New Jersey.

Wait—let me rephrase that statement, and make it more accurate. After a week in San Diego, I’m ready to stay in San Diego. Yeah, that’s better.

It’s also not true. I miss New Jersey. Why? Because I’m stupid. I mean, isn’t it obvious? Why else would anyone miss a place where shopping malls are laid out end-to-end along grungy highways filled with snarling people on a mad dash to Macy’s? It’s all about what you’re used to. And I am used to crap. If you’re born in crap, you learn to love it. Just ask your average housefly.

Airplanes are the worst. On the flight over here some lady was changing her baby’s diaper on the tray that folds down from the seat. The flight attendant told her twice to use the changing table in the bathroom, but the woman ignored her. Now maybe she didn’t understand english, but BABY EL STINKO, okay? I think that’s a pretty universal idea.

I have to go pack.