Online Dating Hell

People today have more ways to start a romantic relationship than ever before. People today have access to online dating, Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, email, text messaging, cell phones, and online chat. But does any of this stuff make the process easier?

I’m not an expert in this field, and no one is asking me to appear on Oprah. I did test the digital waters a bit before I met Jill, and I’ll say there are certain aspects of meeting people that technology has improved. But in the end, here’s the problem: Until you actually meet someone, you haven’t met anyone.

I “met” a girl one time in an AOL chat room. We agreed to meet at a bar in Belmar. She told me she was 31, never married, no kids. So I walk into the bar, and a woman asks me my name. I tell her, yeah, I’m Joe—but I’m thinking, uh, who the hell are you?

This woman was not 31 years old. She says, “Well, my friends tell me I look like I’m thirty-one.”

Honey, you’re friends are lying.

She finally admits to being “around fifty.” Okay, I suppose 60 is around 50. Put it this way, she had a grandson who was living with her—when he wasn’t busy sailing with the U.S. Navy.

Anyway, it was a real short date. She had to go home and watch The Golden Girls.