The Swine Flu |

The Swine Flu

So I’m watching the news, and the guy is talking about the swine flu, and he says, “We don’t want to alarm people…”

Meanwhile, there are big red letters across the bottom of the screen: DEADLY FLU EPIDEMIC SPREADING

“We want everyone to know there’s no reason to panic.”
WIDESPREAD DEATH EXPECTED SOON

“Disease control centers are taking appropriate measures.”
EXPECT HEAPING PILES OF DEAD BABIES IN YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD

“Everything is being carefully monitored.”
BUY FUNERAL PLOTS NOW

Thanks, guys. I’m going to go take an aspirin.